The Way To The Why

When I start with a new client or teach a new class, I usually start with how I see communication. I see it in lots of different ways but one of them shines through again and again. It’s a 3-layer picture. I suck at drawing, so let me show you with my words.

The top, most superficial layer, is the WHAT. WHAT are you saying? What is the message? If I was typing this in Sanskrit, Swedish, or Swahili, many of you would not even get the surface level of what I was trying to say because of your lack of understanding the language it was written in. (Oh, and if you speak any – or OMG ALL of those languages, tell me and I’ll send you a present.)

After the WHAT, when you scratch the surface a bit, comes (at least to me) the HOW. HOW did you structure that message? What building blocks did you use to create it? You can focus on grammar and vocabulary this way – what words did you use to shape your message? Underneath the WHAT (your message), you’ll find your HOW.

And…if you dig even deeper, you’ll find the most important layer. It’s the WHY. WHY did you choose those building blocks to structure your message? Why were those the best options for you? Why do you want to express yourself in this way? If you know WHY you have chosen your HOW, then your WHAT will be so much stronger.

When I coach someone I usually begin here:
1. What do you want to say?
2. How do you want to say it?
3. Why do you want to say it that way?

Then I flip it around. If you can clearly identify your WHY first, then the rest follows naturally.

So many people, however, have lost touch with their WHY. I think this is  a shame. It took me a long time to figure out my WHY, and today it pretty much shines through in everything I do. I take it with me wherever I go, and if you work with me, you’ll figure out my why in about 3 minutes flat.

This is my WHY TOP 10:
1. Learning should be fun
2. Teachers should be in love with their subject and willing to show it
3. Taking risks is good
4. Making mistakes is great
5. You are loved and safe and ok
6. So am I
7. I only have a few fucks to give in this life, so I have to use them well
8. I will always have haters
9. Questions are good
10. I feel everything I need to  know

That’s kind of it, really. What’s your why? What do you take with you everywhere you go? What message do you want to share with the world? How are you going to share it? And why?

Let me know.
I’ll always write you back.
See number 5.

Wit lof from buffi x

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